Last week, David aka the Good Human wrote a great post about being an eco-sinner. His point? We are all eco-sinners. If you are reading this, you are an eco-sinner – the computer, the electricity you’re using, the roof over your head (unless you are this guy, who is amazing). No one is perfect, and almost all of us are living in a way that negatively impacts the environment.
Several recent experiences caused me to wonder at how social media gives us new mediums through which to harass, critique and treat other people disdainfully. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should. There are incredibly effective ways to use social media to further your cause, my cause, any cause. We’ll get to that. But first, let’s take a look at what people actually do.
Scenario Numero Uno
My dryer broke in January. For a variety of reasons, it doesn’t make sense to replace the dryer right now. In spite of the obvious environmental benefits, this has most definitely not been a good thing. In fact, it has been a giant pain. Because you know what’s hard to do? Hang-dry clothes in the Pacific Northwest in February.
Several weeks ago, I ended up getting into an online conversation with someone about hang-drying clothes. This fellow greenie proceeded to one-up me about relative difficulty of hang-drying clothes based on where we live. I disengaged and walked away, because really, what was the point of that? I’m glad he’s been able to get his clothes to dry successfully, but personally, I’m tired of my towels smelling vaguely of mildew.
Scenario Numero Dos
A few days ago, I was contacted via Twitter by a grass-fed, organic meat company several states away. I told them that I love what they’re doing but that I try to buy local. What could have been a great interaction turned unpleasant, as the company rep proceeded to harangue me via DM for not understanding organic standards, not caring about sustainability, and trying to convince me that ordering from their company on Amazon is better than supporting a sustainable (but uncertified) source 20 minutes from my house.
Big mistake. I love promoting and supporting companies who are doing good things. I would have remembered and recommended the company to people in the future. Not anymore. In fact, even if I end up in a position where it would make sense for me to purchase from this company, I would probably look for an alternative.
I shot back a series of cranky retorts. Fortunately, they were eaten by a Twitter error. I love it when technology takes the high road on my behalf.
This Kind of Stuff Is Why People Don’t Like Us
Take notes, people. This kind of stuff is why people don’t like us. This kind of stuff is why I don’t like calling myself an environmentalist. And unfortunately, social media has given us the ability to be jerks in new and far-reaching ways.
What frustrates me most is not that I had these two encounters. It’s that other people are probably running into this too.
I worry about the people on the verge of change. What if I was someone who was looking into sustainable eating for the first time? An encounter like that might have driven me back to the grocery store meat section. It may not be sustainable, but at least they aren’t yelling at me. Same with dryer-guy. His conversation with me wasn’t helpful or constructive. In fact, it served no purpose at all. Maybe it made him feel better about himself, but it didn’t make me more likely to hang-dry my clothes. And it made me much less likely to come back to his site and engage with him.
It is a rare thing, perhaps impossible, for us to truly know where someone else is coming from. We can try, but it is at best a guess. For people we know well, it may be a very good guess. For people we meet on the internet or connect with via social media, isn’t it worth erring on the side of caution?
Whatever your cause may be, I think it is better served by listening, really listening and trying to understand where someone is coming from. We gain more allies by being gentle and constructive with people, those who are clearly “on our side,” and particularly those who might be leaning that direction and just aren’t there yet. Sometimes we serve our cause by disengaging from the need to be right.
Social media is a phenomenal tool for doing this. Let’s choose to use it this way instead.
Amen! I have dealt with this twice in the last week and had been mulling a similar post as a result. Why does social media make people think its okay to barf their inner bitch all over someone? Sheesh. Thanks for posting this Jess.
Well-worded, and so true. The anonymity of the internet has given so many people the excuse to act like jerks, when IRL, they would (probably) act more civilized and polite. Even innocent remarks or questions are greeted with outright hostility, for no reason other than being “right.” Instead of backing off, disengaging, etc., many take it as an opportunity to attack others–in part because it’s so easy to do. I agree social media can be a great tool, but only if we use it as such.
I’m with you – like any tool, it’s completely in how you use it.
Although I wonder about the IRL thing – as the internet/life line continues to blur, are we going to get more polite on the internet or less civilized in person? Or is that just too much of a generalization to make.
LOL–that’s why I said “probably”!
Perhaps I should say “less rude/confrontational” IRL than online. The anonymity of the internet offers security–you’re not being offensive to a person, just words on a screen (or so it seems). When you lose that face-to-face contact, and can no longer see what kind of effect your words can have, it’s much easier to act like a jerk.
Thank you for the comment! I wonder if it’s just something in the air, Maggie. Spring is on its way so everyone has to get all their mean out now?
But it’s so EASY to be rude and hateful when you don’t have to face anyone. The thing I really don’t understand is if you don’t like someone or what they stand for – why follow them around the internet and spew hate at them? It takes so much energy to be rude and to take the time to find these people. I just don’t get it. There is so much negativity in the world right now, why perpetuate that? What ever happened to “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
And Jess – you’re right about people getting a sour taste in their mouths in regards to trying new things. I like to hear the pros and cons about things and I like to ask questions. Unfortunately, a large majority of the time I’m too afraid to ask. I don’t want to read about someone calling me ignorant or stupid.
The rule I learned, which I really like, is “Nice, necessary, true.” Whatever you say has to be two out of three of those things.
All well said; I particularly like this: “I love it when technology takes the high road on my behalf.” So good.
I’m still in the very green stage of being Green, but you’re right about the crazies who make me want to take a step back. Not you though
Thanks so much for your comment! I just have to say, I’m such a big fan of your blog.
And I’m so glad you don’t count me among the crazies
. If that ever changes, somebody better tell me I’ve crossed the line!
You’re really good about breaking things down which is nice. I have gone to other blogs and am SO overwhelmed with the technical talk and jargon that I get lost and give up. But then again, you already know how much you’ve impacted my life. I have a worm farm, no dig garden and I pay attention to my mean and veggies. PLUS I want another tree in our backyard and it’s going to be edible