Comments on: Five Real Food Failures

By: Jess

Jess — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 04:47:37 +0000

Thanks for stopping by It tasted… not awesome, but not nearly as bad as it looked. I can relate SO much more to recipes gone bad than I can relate to all the beautiful photos Jenny usually posts! It’s good to have a laugh and remember that life is really not about perfection.

By: Kelly @ The Nourishing Home

Kelly @ The Nourishing Home — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 03:14:40 +0000

I saw your comment on Jenny’s FB page and had to come see the worm! SO FUNNY! It totally looks like a dead worm. Thanks for sharing! We can all relate to RECIPES GONE BAD!!!

By: Jean | Delightful Repast

Jean | Delightful Repast — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 03:01:31 +0000

Jess, I’m *usually* one of those “competent,” sooo “together” people in the kitchen, but this Friday I’m going to be posting something that definitely needs more work! Good flavor, but the texture leaves a lot to be desired!

Had to laugh at your late-night kitchen exploits. When I’m tired and start in on something, I can make a *real* mess *real* fast!

By: Tovar Cerulli

Tovar Cerulli — Wed, 19 May 2010 17:07:21 +0000

Hilarious post, Jess!

The food I prepare never looks like the fancy photos. And, yes, I’ve had my share of real failures. At the moment, I’m recalling a batch of corn muffins, to which I failed to add baking soda. Think yellow hockey pucks.

By: Liz McLellan

Liz McLellan — Mon, 17 May 2010 23:24:06 +0000

Ha! My last pair of bread loafs were well… hilarious. The place I set them for their second rise was too small. I came back to find one half of a loaf stretching down to the floor over the counter edge…

My first compost pile can only be described as a travesty.

Keep on! Well be doing this in our sleep in a few years!

By: Kimberly Schaub

Kimberly Schaub — Sat, 15 May 2010 22:10:56 +0000

Ah… Sustainable Eats, I’m so sorry…. I totally hear your pain, and I had to laugh out loud at your comments. I am nowhere sophisticated or brave enough to attempt canning. I live in a mini apartment in downtown Seattle complete with a mini stove that has room for two saucepans, if you put them on diagonal opposite burners! I will think happy and lucky thoughts for you.
Thanks Jess for the post because it allowed us to admit our bloopers

By: Jess

Jess — Fri, 14 May 2010 19:01:56 +0000

Oh no! I missed the post on igniting lard. I’m still in catch-up mode on…well, everything, but I just read your strike post and yikes! I don’t blame you a bit. This is definitely not something you can do alone. Unless, like me, you have the advantage of actually being alone! Wine + garden + pajamas sounds like exactly what you need for a bit.

The carrot/radishes are very lightly pickled. I thin it’s some combination of rice vinegar, fish sauce, sugar, and salt, but I still haven’t been able to get it right.

And thanks for the mold tip! I guess my marmalade was the safe kind of mold, but the rest of the marmalade definitely wasn’t safe.

By: Sustainable Eats

Sustainable Eats — Thu, 13 May 2010 05:13:59 +0000

Jess I have dinnertime meltdowns on a regular basis. In fact I’m on strike right now. I’m finally coming to terms with it and sitting down to blog. Also dumping out many failed canning flops tonight: ketsup with too much cinnamon (1 gallon of it that I spent an entire weekend simmering), mustard too bitter, crab and fish stock disgustingly fishy. Why I bothered to can these things I’ve no clue but it’s time to clean out the pantry and clear up jars for summer 2010 so out it goes. So much time, so much waste. Also just threw out 2 #s of mozzarella pH was too high on so “barely edible” as described by my husband, fed to chickens.

Not together over here by any means. Did you read my blog entry where I ignited my rendered lard? Or got stung by the nettles I actually PAID someone for at the farmer’s market? So many lessons, so little time…

And are these the carrot/radish pickles? I used parsnips but the recipe called for daikon radish which I planted this year. Only I’ll lactoferment it next time.

Oh and about the mold. White mold is ok if it’s been fermented but not if it’s been canned. You simply skim it off the top. Any other color mold though and throw it all out. I do have 2 quarts of carrot kvass in the garage right now to chuck – I made w/o the whey using an old French recipe and I’m scared S**tless to try it. Botulism and all.

xo!

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 12 May 2010 18:29:47 +0000

Their ginger carrots sound amaaazing. I’m still looking for a recipe for the yummy carrot/daikon radish mix you get as a side or garnish at Vietnamese restaurants. I could almost live on that.

By: Soli

Soli — Wed, 12 May 2010 18:06:18 +0000

Side dish, yes. Very delicious. If you ever find out what to do about the mold, please let me know!

I’m also quite fortunate to be able to get Real Pickles locally. I’ve eaten a LOT of their pickles, sauerkraut, beets, and carrots over the past year.

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:42:25 +0000

Holy cow! That is some powerful sourdough starter. You should send some over my way so it can give my pitiful starter a lesson in kicking butt and taking names .

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:40:59 +0000

Yikes! This is absolutely something I would do. For whatever reason, food gadgets are just not my friends…

Did you have fun cleaning soup off your ceiling?

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:37:03 +0000

Wow, I am so impressed that you tried pierogies! I love the frozen ones, but wouldn’t have even thought to try making them myself. I vote blame the recipe and try again with a different one.

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:34:44 +0000

It’s definitely one step at a time . Or four steps at a time, with three of them ending in massive weirdness…

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:32:00 +0000

Ooh! This one always scares me with my sauerkraut, and I’m never sure if it is safe to just pick off the moldy bits, or if I have to toss the whole jar.

What does one do with lacto-fermented beets? Side dish?

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:30:44 +0000

So far no fire alarms, although I did get pretty close with this last batch of naan because I forgot to turn the fan on. Only after I was finished did I realize the whole upstairs was filled with smoke. Oops!

By: Jamie

Jamie — Wed, 12 May 2010 14:53:04 +0000

OMG the worm made me laugh so much I teared up Good one!

I was making white bean soup and put the hot soup in the food processor. Apparently my food processor doesn’t do liquid because as soon as I turned it on it all oozed out the top. Then I figured I’d just put it all in the blender. Well – hot liquid and lots of spinning action just compresses the air and the blender lid BLEW off and soup when EVERYWHERE! LessonS learned. The soup wasn’t even that good.

By: Jenn

Jenn — Wed, 12 May 2010 14:10:19 +0000

The first time I tried to make sourdough starter, it tried to take over my apartment. I put 1/2 cup flour, 1/2 cup water in a large container and left it overnight — when I got back from the bar, it had expanded, pushed aside its loose lid, crawled out of its container, and across the counter, starting to ooze down the doors of my cabinets.

By: Soli

Soli — Wed, 12 May 2010 13:00:52 +0000

One so far. I tried making lacto-fermented beets with some GORGEOUS golden beets I’d gotten at the farmer’s market. Didn’t cover them up with enough liquid, perhaps. Therefore *I* got the mold you had anticipated with the marmalade.

By: Kristan

Kristan — Wed, 12 May 2010 12:45:39 +0000

I attempted homemade piergoies….I really thought I followed the recipe very closely. It ended up to be the *biggest* disgusting mess I have ever done in the kitchen. It didn’t matter if I cooked the batch less or more – they still ended up wet and mushy with a filling that tasted like uncooked pumpkin but looked like runny dog poop….sigh! I gave up and didn’t “go there” again!

By: Rachel Wilmoth

Rachel Wilmoth — Tue, 11 May 2010 00:49:52 +0000

I think “cook” is a four-letter word (well, technically it is, but you know what I mean) so props to you for even trying.

By: Kimberly Schaub

Kimberly Schaub — Tue, 11 May 2010 00:48:33 +0000

HAHAHHAAHHAHA! Jess, welcome to the intrepid world of culinary exploration and discovery! A world of wonder and a blooper, and a world of finding out what totally doesn’t work and what was surprisingly delicious or beautiful. Sounds like you’ve already had the trial by fire. But wait, can you say that you’ve set off fire alarms in every single kitchen that you’ve cooked in (to include travel lodges and cooking demos?) And yet, I still reach for the stove’s knobs to crank up the heat…